Seaside Starbucks

Jay says this is a story that needs be told.

 

We rode our bikes down to Monterey from Pacific Grove, about a 7 mile stretch, to pick up Jay’s car where he had parked on De La Vina. He had parked on the part of the street where some locals have issues with Monterey Landscaping trucks taking over the block. Air has been let out of tires.

 

Today, he had to park his Nissan on the block. He starts putting the bikes in the trunk of the car. As he’s putting the bikes in I notice how much bird shit there is ALL OVER the car. Like the worst case of shit ever known to man. I say something like…

whoa!! Look at all the bird shit! I mean it’s a lot!! Like as in someone did it on purpose.”

Jays kind of laughs and says,

“Bird Shit in a Can?”

He hands me the flash light so he can put in the other bike. Keep in mind it’s about 8:00PM and we are wearing dark heavy jackets, beanies and gloves because it’s so damn freezing outside, we look like cat burglers. A SUV drives past us and I am a little worried that they will think we’re stealing bikes from their hood so I try to turn the flashlight off but I’m fumbling, I can’t figure out how to turn it off so it’s like a 360 degree rotating lighthouse beacon.

 

We finally get the bikes in, I shine the flashlight under the car while Jay bungees the bikes, the trunk goes clank.

 

Driving up Del Monte, we come upon the Seaside Starbucks.

“Mmmm a green tea latte would be good right now.”

Jay gets all surprised and says, “All right!”. He’s my sugar daddy tonight I didn’t bring any money. Then he gets another idea and says,

“Hey Bobs taking this thing to get Layla tomorrow so I should run it through the car wash, oh but we have to take the bikes out.”

We decide he’s going to drop me off at Starbucks with the bikes so I can have my hot chocolate (I changed my mind) and he can get his car washed! What a perfect way to satisfy BOTH our needs! I love him!

He drops me off with the bikes at Starbucks and hands me a $20. Thanks sugar daddy! I run in and get in line. I order this new Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate, I’ve had the fuel injected version (the Mocha) and it was pretty good, but I don’t need the caffeine right now. I’m feeling pretty good.

 

I pay and the barista asks me “How’d your day go today?” which is kind of a weird question to ask a stranger, it’s actually a lot more thought provoking than a question in the moment like “How are you doing?”, because her question made me have to think about EVERYTHING I did today, having the new Ken at Subaru ignore me and then skip me in line today, that bastard, then having to butter up my VW mechanic who sucked up 2 and a half hours of my afternoon, I answered “Good!” and smiled, because things are good now.

 

Everyone inside Seaside Starbucks is on some type of digital device. I’m usually never without my phone, but today, I set it down next to my computer because I didn’t want it falling out of my jacket pocket on our bike ride. So, I’m ok with that, I’d rather sit here and really enjoy my salty cocoa drink than read a Starbucks calorie book. But it’s too warm in this Starbucks for hot chocolate! I wanted to sit outside in some fresh sea side air.. not Seaside. Plus I am supposed to be watching the bikes. I sit right behind the bikes, I am trying to be inconspicuous and not look like a weirdo bum with my frizzy hair flying out of my beanie.

 

So I sit there quietly, somewhat still, and I realize… oh! I get to watch all the drive-thru people. A lot of them are stressed-out in oversized SUVs, one lady had this expression where it looked like a car was coming at her when she came around the corner. I’m thinking oh, this will be entertaining! I wait and wait and no one else comes through around the corner, slow times I guess.

 

All of a sudden I hear rustling. “What is that?” I’m thinking “Where is that coming from?”. I find the source of the sounds and it’s coming from the bushes at the corner of the street. I’d say it’s about 30-40 feet away from me. I look over and something really BIG is rustling behind those bushes. I am in anticipation, “What the hell is that in those bushes?!?!”. It gets louder…

 

A man pops straight up. Damn, I would have preferred it be a beast at this point. I keep him on watch with my peripheral vision. Weird, is he looking at me? I try to use my hoodie to cover my face up and I’m checking him at the corner of my eye. He’s looking at me! His lips start moving and I hear a mumbling. I’m thinking, “Hmm, this is a little weird, what the hell was that guy doing in those bushes?”I thought maybe he hid a weapon there and came back for it and I convince myself to feel safe and I reason, “It’s well lit and there’s a bunch of people around.” I hear him mumble again. I peak at the corner of my eye and he’s still staring at me.

 

OKAY, that does it for me, I’m going inside, ef THIS! So I make myself inside right past the trash can at the right of the entrance. This way, I’m somewhat hidden from the view of the east glass there and I’m small enough that if someone comes walking in they’ll mostly see the trashcan blocking me, but I can still look outside through the window for Jay.

 

I feel the warm soft texture of the Starbucks cup and take a sip of my overly sweetened salted caramel drink. Feeling safer, I think, “What is that guy doing out there?” He’s still standing straight up, looking in my direction through the glass. Well, I’m safe if I’m in here, feeling pretty confident.

 

I keep an eye on the strange man through the glass. It’s like I’m watching a movie. The man starts his way around the bushes and he has a fist full of sticks and leaves. It was one of those big spiky unfriendly plants with tips he was digging around in, so it looked like he had a fistful of knives.

 

He slowly walks up towards the Starbucks. There’s not another person in the parking lot except him. The cars at the busy intersection are like a blur of light and metal flying behind him. The contrast makes it seem like he’s moving slower than slow motion. “Is he coming IN HERE?” I ask myself in disbelief. He’s coming in!!! I’m getting a little worried and as he passes through the void in my vision where the trash can is, it seems to block at least 5 crucial feet, where I’d be able to foresee whether he would head to the sidewalk and spare my life, or come inside to stab me with his knives.

 

The door opens… I hold my breath. The guy walks in and turns towards me, he has gloves on, the leaves come at me, and he crams them with force into the trash box not more than one foot from my head! By this time I’m hyperventilating. I thought he was going to smash the fist-full of leaves into my head.

 

Then for a second I thought, “Oh, maybe he’s just a gardener, not some psycho Seaside slayer”. I settled a bit, took another sip of my saltacocha. There’s some blues music on the stereo. I’m feeling the groove, tapping my fingers on the table and get lost in the sounds.

 

Oh so that thought about being home free, that thought the weird guy was a gardener… he wasn’t a gardener. He had gloves on but wasn’t taking them off. He started working the room. Not for money though. He walked over to the other end of the Starbucks with those big gloves on and would start mumbling here and there around groups of people. I couldn’t figure out what he was saying but he walked past the barista behind the counter and she said something like “It’s better when you sleep on it”, and he mumbled not one second after her “… yea sleep on it”, softly but with a tone to it.

 

OH NO he’s headed my way. Everyone else has their personal electronics, they are in another world, completely oblivious to the strange man. But I, who left my phone at home, stupid me! , I hunch over and stare out the window to try not to give him any reason at all to bother me. Then I think, “Where is Jay, where is Jay, how long has it been?” Then I realized I had only listened to three songs, so it couldn’t have been more than 15 minutes. Maybe he forgot he dropped me off here and went home. I start to panic, if that guy bothers me I’m going to jump on that bike and ride my ass home.

A couple seconds go by. I’m concentrating on being unsocial… I feel a tap on the upper arm and he says sincerely,

“Oow you doing ma’am?”

Inside I’m “AHHHHHHHH” I look up at him and he towers over me,

“I’m good thanks!”

and I smile at him, and he smiles back at me, shakes his head and turns around and grows roots in the brown armchair about 5 feet from me.

 

I’m looking for Jay, “Where IS THAT guy? He can’t still be cleaning off that bird poop?”. Every single car looks the same pale tan color, shape, size, ugh how am I ever going to spot him. If he was driving my bus I could spot him. Oh! There he is! He picks me up, I tell him this story, and he tells me I need to write it down.